16 Dad Jokes to Get You Through the Week

By Macy Cate Williams
Everett Collection

Long week? It's OK — we have some dad jokes here to save the day. Whether they make you cringe or bust out laughing, there's no doubt that a quality dad joke is the best distraction. Keep reading, and then go bother your friends with these brilliant two-liners.

01
Did you hear about the giant that threw up?
Giphy

Did you hear about the giant that threw up?

It's all over town.

02
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Giphy

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

03
What do you call a fake noodle?
First Look Studios

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

04
What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
ABC

What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?

Oh snap!

05
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Giphy

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

06
What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
ABC

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?

A bagel.

07
What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
Paramount Pictures

What's green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?

A pool table.

08
What did the police officer say to the belly button?
CBS

What did the police officer say to the belly button?

You're under a vest!

09
Did you hear about that new restaurant called Karma?
NBC

Did you hear about that new restaurant called Karma?

There's no menu; you just get what you deserve.

10
Have you heard that one joke about the butter?
ABC

Have you heard that one joke about the butter?

I better not tell you — it might spread.

11
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Giphy

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Walking. JK ROWLING.

12
What did the Buffalo say to his son?
NBC

What did the Buffalo say to his son?

Bye, son.

13
What do you call a computer that sings?
Bloomberg

What do you call a computer that sings?

A Dell.

14
Why won't anybody play poker in the jungle?
BBC

Why won't anybody play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

15
How do you make holy water?
New Line Cinema

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

16
What do you call an elephant in the snow?

What do you call an elephant in the snow?

Cold.

17
E!

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NBC